Area 51
I landed in Vegas and booked a room for the night at the Luxor hotel. There was a heavy rush for the long weekend, full parking lots, cars wandering around trying to find a spot to park, long lines everywhere through midnight. I stood in line for hotel check-in, watching people losing money in slot machines, half-clothed drunk women with full makeup at midnight tottering around trying to find their balance, drunk men wandering around smoking cigarettes, nauseating smell of alcohol and tobacco everywhere, scantily clothed men and women groping on huge television screens all around, I felt suffocated inside those flamboyant buildings. What is everyone up to? Trying to fill a jar with water from a mirage? I just wanted to sleep for the night and get off of there. To the mountains and deserts… quietness and solitude…
The moment I started driving through the mountains the next morning my heart felt expanded. I rolled the windows down, a breath of fresh air gently blowing on my face. With some directions I read online, I set out to visit the Area 51 gate. I entered the Extraterrestrial Highway, Nevada 375. The highway got its name after the 90’s Independence Day movie where many scenes were shot in that desert. And also many allegedly UFO-alien sightings in that area. The sign, “Next gas 200 miles” caught my eyes. Obviously, Area 51, though not so secret anymore, President Obama did acknowledge its existence and the secret military projects that go on in there, but it’s still going to be inconspicuous and not obvious. The general direction is to keep driving on 375 until we see a long dirt road. That’s it. The clue is, there’s a stop sign on that dirt road in the middle of the desert which would totally look out of place. Following that dirt road for 25 miles, is the gate to Area 51 with the sign, “Military installation. Do not trespass”.
I drove through the vast desert… Nothing at all for miles and miles… I go into an open eye meditation on long desert drives. I sometimes get surprised when my hands move the steering wheel by itself without “me” involving. If the car drift off to the sides, my hand automatically pulls it back. Long back I realized life “happens” to us. Trying to control it is like trying to control a roller coaster by holding on to the rails. I used to hold on to it tightly thinking I would be safe. But slowly I learned to let go of my hand and experience the ride. Sometimes I feel a burgeoning joy, sometimes a pang of hurt, but it’s part of the ride. I slowly surrendered to life, it takes care of what needs to be done. Just like pulling the car back to the lane when it veers off.
Meditating through the desert. After about 150 miles, suddenly I felt an elevation on the road. Then the road started descending, it was like a vantage point to see several miles ahead. There, somewhere far away, I noticed that lone narrow dirt road across the desert. That was the only road visible for several miles ahead. I felt excited! Area 51!
I drove slowly looking for that clue. That irrelevant stop sign in the middle of the desert. There it is! My heart throbbed in excitement. I turned my car into the dirt road. It obviously wasn’t a maintained road, I drove slowly on a bumpy ride. For some reason, I felt very excited. What am I going to encounter there? I drove for 30 minutes.
I didn’t see any military sign. I felt a slight apprehension. Am I going in the right direction? Maybe this is not the road? The last thing I want is to run out of gas in the middle of the desert or worse yet, have a flat tire. I know for certain there’s absolutely no life nearby. Except for a few carcasses. If I get stuck, maybe that would be it.
As I kept thinking, I looked at the rearview mirror. My heart stopped for a second.
A white truck with fully black tinted windows suddenly appeared out of nowhere and followed closely behind me. Certainly that’s not another curious tourist, not with that dark tinted windows. And there was no license plate on that truck. My heart thumped. I wanted to be sure, reluctantly slowed my car down to see if the truck passed me. It didn’t. It slowed down too. I almost came to a stop, the truck stopped behind me.
That’s when I felt the seriousness. That wasn’t some adventure tourist spot to get excited about. That was Area 51! United States military base that allegedly worked on the nuclear bombs, Moon landing project and more. It’s not a joke. Maybe I made a mistake. Adventure is okay, stupidity is not. I have traveled enough to know where to draw the line. Maybe I misjudged this time? Is it going to land me in trouble? Technically I’m still on the public road. Except for that stop sign, there were no other signs that say I shouldn’t enter. Maybe if arrested, there will be no, “You have the right to remain silent, you have the right to a lawyer” or none of those rights will be read. It’s national security, they can detain indefinitely without question.
Who are they in that truck following me? What if suddenly the truck pulls in front of me? Will there be a chopper over my head in a few minutes? Will I be arrested for trespassing? I thought if they detain me, I would just blink, look silly and tell them I came there looking for aliens. Maybe they would think I’m some alien hunter nutcase and let me go. No, they won’t!
Suddenly out of nowhere, I saw the gate with the sign, “Stop! Military installation. Do not trespass!”.
Life flowed back into me. At last, I didn’t trespass. I parked my car there
knowing I’m still on the public road. The truck with dark windows whirred past into an elevated hill, parked facing towards me. I saw another truck with tinted windows pullover, both the trucks faced me monitoring my moves. They never got off the truck, never showed their face, they remained secret. I have no idea who they were or why they followed me.
I got out of my car and stood near the gate. It was on my things to do before leaving the US list for some time. Area 51… Check!
I drove back for several more miles, spotted a small-town gas station. I was tired, went inside for a coffee. I always love small towns, people are very kind and loving, address me as “honey” and “sweetheart”. Just a cup of coffee honey? “Yes!” I went to use the restroom, I was washing my hands when I suddenly heard muffled voices of a man and woman together inside the men’s stall. I flinched. Really? Daytime? In the restroom? That is so messed up! I was about to leave in disgust when the stall opened. A middle-aged lady came out, and her partially disabled son, maybe in his 20’s, followed her, holding her by her shoulders, limping slowly. She was helping her son in the restroom. I felt a pang of guilt for judging. I opened the door for them, the mother looked at me with her kind eyes, asked in a feeble voice, “What’s your name”? I said “Sri”. “Sri?” “Yes”. “God bless you, Sri”.
My eyes watered. It reminded me of the deep love and hurt I felt when I was in kindergarten. I got sick one day in the middle of school and was waiting for my mother to pick me up. She got late. I cried with a deep hurt inside, looking out the classroom for the divine angel to appear. I was sick and missed my mother so much. Where is she? Did she forget me? Mother? Where are you? I remember the moment when she appeared like an angel. I ran and hugged her with tears in my eyes and so much love gushing forth. Mother! That love!
Mother!
When I ran a high fever as a baby
I knew you went sleepless for many nights and put me in your lap singing
lullaby throughout the night
I remember that!
When I studied for exams asking you to wake me up early in the morning
I knew you woke up every hour in the night looking at the clock to make sure
you didn’t miss the time
I remember that!
The day I left you to travel abroad,
I knew your heart broke and you felt like a part of you was snatched away, but
you just smiled
I remember that!
When I needed shelter, you became a cloud
When I was thirsty, you became a rain
When I was afraid, you became my strength
When I was hurt, you became love.
Thank you, mother!
I came out and filled gas. Suddenly I felt something brushing my legs. I turned around and looked at a dog going around my leg. The lady walking the dog said, “Sorry sir, my dog is blind, he doesn’t know where he’s going”. I thought she was being sarcastic. I just smiled and said, “That’s fine”. Then I noticed the dog did have both his eyes shut. I stopped and asked her, “You mean really?”. “Yes sir, he’s born blind”. My heart sank. “What’s his name?”. “Toby”. Toby came near me, wagged his tail, put his paws on me, sniffed me all over with his wet nose, expressing his love and happiness. My heart melted, I gently rubbed his furry forehead… Take care, Toby! Toby wasn’t blind, he just sees the world through the eyes of love.
Toby once again reminded me of the purpose of life. Nothing complicated… Nothing philosophical.. nothing esoteric… the purpose is… Just live!
Life
makes dirt into flower
Why do we need gold and silver?
We only need to be alive
Our heart’s desire to be alive
The desire without anger or hatred
The desire without obsession
The desire filled with love and joy
Our heart’s desire to be alive
When we are alive, life blossoms
When life blossoms, we taste freedom.
